Monday, April 5, 2010

I’ve been given a laptop!

It certainly isn’t shiny and new.

It has some basic problems that will have to be fixed, but it’s my own computer! Once it gets working in proper order, that will certainly increase the amount of time I can be online and the things that I can accomplish will certainly increase as well.

As a matter of fact, this thing is being a pain in the ass. Spaces showing up where spaces are not really welcome and the cursor running away down the screen in some race against an invisible opponent. Add to that there are beeps coming out of it like a smoke alarm.

Probably my neighbors are ready to call the fire department.

And I’m gonna’ have to buy some Preparation H.

I have also been reading a book about blogging, It’s called “The Complete Guide to Blogging” from The Huffington Post. Following their advice I’m also going to include a link to their site. It is

I also am going to add links to places like "Addiction Inbox” which sends out an email periodically. Their information interesting to say the least. It does give me some insight into some of my behaviors. This is not used to rationalize to to excuse those behaviors, but knowing more makes “Just Say No!“ a little easier once in awhile.

Yes, even the Erie Crackhead has said no occasionally.

Now to my faithful readers . There are not a whole legion of you, but from what I can tell there is something of my message getting out to the world. The site officially lists five followers besides myself. There are also comments from others not on that list. Their positive and encouraging comments are part of what keep me posting to this place as often as possible.

With the hard cold facts of what is happening in my life hopefully you folks can see that there is indeed a better way to live. Some posts are depressing and some have a touch of humor but taken as a whole maybe you will have learned a lesson that came too late for me.

There are those who have said that it’s not too late to turn things around.

Maybe they are right but after all the losses of things that were important and other things that really had no meaning to me weighs a body down. Most importantly was the loss of family and friends who once thought that there was a chance for me.

It would be easy to say that they turned their backs on me.

That’s a lie. The fact is good case could be made that I just threw them away. A son who’s marriage was kept a secret from me and had a child, which I may never see.

That hurts.

A daughter who won’t even acknowledge an email. That hurts as well.

Sorry to end on a down note. That’s what life as a crackhead is like.

The more you know, the better off you’ll be.


  1. you are not alone (i know you have heard that one before) I am interested in your blog so much that I have sat here all day and read through almost all of them. Thank you for you honesty. I too stuggle with an addiction. I think most do but few realize it. Addiction to emotional turmoil, substances, work, sex....all the feelings are the same, just different scenerios. Your blogs really connects with me. Thank you. I hope to read much more.

  2. Anonymous,

    Thanks for taking the time to read the blog. My hope is that maybe there will be something in this to make someone say to themselves, "I don't want to do that."


This blog is now reopened to comments.