For most of the people I know today is the last day in a long holiday weekend. For me, other than the fact that the calendar says it Memorial Day, it is just another day. Memorial Day will be celebrated in various ways by people, some with respect to those who passed and served, other will have not even gave a passing thought to those Veterans.
Such is life in our world today.
The Weekend was for me a bit better than those experienced in some time. Things were done that more closely resembled the life of many others I know. Going to the cemetery, doing a bit of sprucing up there at family members graves. Going to Presque Isle for a ride to see all the weekend celebrants coming up from Pittsburgh. Splitting a 6 pack of really greasy hotdogs and hamburgs, along with an order of Greek fries. Indigestion came later.
I also got my hair cut. I always have to be pushed into a barbers chair. But it was so long, and it was pulled into a pony tail yet again. It was a pain to wash and comb out in the mornings after washing. So my hair was at a point were one either got it cut or invested in additional hair care products. It cost $13.00 and a nice tip for the poor girl stuck chopping that hair into something acceptable looking.
I watched the Indianapolis 500. The race was not delayed by rain nor did it have too many wrecks. It wasn't the most exciting Indy 500 race I've ever watched, but it id help pass the time. Danika came in 5th, her best finish. Good for her.
I also smoked a 20 piece. It was better than previous crack from last week. But I didn't enjoy it at all. The buzz is not as much fun as it used to be. I also let guilt get in the way and then that guilt allows the paranoia creep into the picture as well. I really shouldn't be feeling guilty. I do what I do in a manner that has, by and large, kept the harm to me and those around me to a minimum.
I have been cutting back in what I write here. I know why as well. There may be people who are judging. I have to get beyond that fact though. Because if they are judging me, they damned well already know who and what I am. There is nothing I could put into this blog that would change anything.
I do have to keep in mind that what I write here is for me. If this blog and anything contained within it is of use to anyone else, that's a bonus. The fact that when I do use is documented here is important. My reactions to that using are also part of what put in here and that has it's uses as well.
There may be another reason I have cut back here as well. I have been spending a great deal of time online. Doing, writing in and participating in activities that have nothing to do with drugs and people who take drugs. Well, at least not crack. I'm getting involved with activities that are more characteristic to what "normal" people do online.
Is that a sign that I'm gaining on it?
And every little bit counts.
Better is Better.