Yes, it is!
Lists will be made to make sure everything that needs to be paid does get paid. Lists need to be made so that things that I need will be bought. Lists will also be made for things I want. Things that might make my life a bit more comfortable. Things that might make me appear a bit more presentable.
Not that preppy, button down collar image that I used to project. More of an image of a person on a long term permanent paid vacation. A paid vacationer from Hell on a tight budget.
OK. Back to the lists.
Rent and electric bills are the only things hanging over my head this month. Groceries need to be bought. Before I make that list the refrigerator is going to be cleaned out first. Not so much to discard the mystery food and science projects that may have accumulated, but to get an accurate inventory of the edibles. No sense in buying stuff I don't need.
There is a good chance that money will be set aside for future purchases. This set aside money may also be just to have in case of an emergency. This may also allow a bit more freedom to go and do things Erie Crackhead has been depriving himself from.
So, you are saying to yourself, "What the hell does any of this have to do with crack."
The fact that preparations are being made to pay bills, buy food and perhaps get a crackhead something nice have a hell of a lot to do with crack. Because if Erie Crackhead starts smoking crack before this stuff gets done, there's a damned good chance none of it will get done.
When this crackhead, and when almost any other crackhead gets money it's a race. That race is between the responsible use of that cash and the crack. I've been working hard at making sure responsibility wins over the crack. It's been work, but I've had help.
Will I get high?
Don't ask stupid questions. The thing is that there will be safeguards in place when that does happen. And the guilt associated with buzz is much less when the important things have taken the higher priority. Rent and utilities paid, food bought and some cash saved is a huge advance for me.
There will be no sitting there saying to myself, "What the fuck do I do now."