Monday, October 25, 2010

You have to have a plan.

Yeah, it's that time again. Time to plan, make lists of what is needed and what should get paid.

What should get paid?

Well, everything that will ensure that my roof is over my head for another month for starters. Making sure that there are lights in my home is another. Also paying medical bills so the Docs, techs and others will be willing to do what needs to be done.

Also Don needs to be repaid. That's important for more than selfish reasons as this guy does watch my back as I watch out for him. It's a two way street, but that is not to say I'm not getting the better part of the deal. This also is to make sure when he is in one of those moods things will go my way.

Hey, I'm a crackhead, remember?

An inventory of the pantry as well as the refrigerator needs to be done. Grocery shopping is now a twice monthly chore. While I have enough canned foods of various types, some fresh meat and veggies is always a welcome addition to my diet. One cannot live on Spam alone.

Chore is too cold of a word to use for those excursions to the market or WallyWorld. It is a welcome experience from being cooped up in this place. Seeing and being around nearly normal people gives me some perspective of what life might be like without a pipe in my mouth. I also get a glimpse of what I don't want to be as well.

If you're wondering what I'm talking about, go to one of many sites dedicated to photos of typical, or not so typical WalMart shoppers. I don't think I fit that mold, but that is a judgement best left to others.

Oh! Those of you who might have an opinion on that can keep it to yourself.

Anyway, with enough money set aside and out of reach, getting enough food so leaning to much on the food banks is a possibility. No, actually it is a reality. So is the promise of reintroducing some material comforts and items back into my life. Besides, money spent there is not getting smoked up.

Now, I had better get my ass in gear. Sitting here, banging on the keyboard is not getting it done. Planning needs to be finished and even more importantly it needs to be executed. Just talking about it just doesn't cut the mustard.

If I don't follow through even I don't want to see that train wreck.

Oh, hell no!


  1. Oh Erie Crackhead if only, if only I had your gift to reach right out and grab my heart in a way that no-one has done for so very long. Believe it or not this blog gives me hope and I need hope so badly right now. This blog makes me feel happy and so sad, it has me smiling and in tears. I feel you. I feel what you are saying and imho no-one says it better than you! With taking da meth it can have me feeling absolutely euphoric one minute and almost devastated and devoid of any self-love or self-control the next. It is a roller-coaster ride that ain't no fun anymore. Soon I go to detox and rehab. So I won't be around for a while, but if I have access to the internet at all there you can be sure this will be the first place I land. Keep it up hun. Keep the faith. And member I love ya heaps! You are here to fulfill a purpose in this life and you are, you really are. You can hold you head up and be proud!

  2. You are a saint. Unfortunately I am high as a kite and any response should be severely discounted. What do you expect from a crackhead who hesn't been laid in...I forgot how long....
    Yes. I am drunk.

  3. Not to be deterred,Angel is an Angel!


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