Sunday, January 2, 2011

Maybe I am getting too cocky.

Clicking on the title will take you to my posts from 2009.

I just finished reading that stuff and realized that in many respects I've been living, comparatively speaking, in Hog Heaven. My physical well being and creature comforts are much improved since that time. Some people actually talk to me as well.

The thing is that I am starting to get that feeling of being bullet proof and nothing could be further from the truth. I still could be on the street with the slightest misstep. I have allowed some people closer to me and run the risk of alienating them. Or alienating them again.

The thing is that I'm starting to buy my own bullshit.

I have made a comic character of myself and some folks are entertained by some of the crap that jumps from my brain, to fingers to computer screen. Some people are pissed as well, but part of that is my self defense. Then again, fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. There are times though my jokes have had an evil cutting edge. And yes, some virtual blood has been shed.

It is unnerving to have someone meet me for the first time and be referred to as Erie Cracker. Is that really who I want to be identified as beyond that virtual food fight? Sadly, it might be too late now.

But it's time to step back and take a look at things. Time to clear my head and not just from crack. Time to think about who I've been messing with with bad results and who is messing with me. Shit happens when you paint a target on your forehead and I can see a storm's a coming.

It's past time to pop open a can of Act Right on my ass.

While 2011 has been crack free so far, no predictions will be made. It is only January 2nd for chrissakes and the reality is not a rosy as some would like to paint for me. The unrealistic expectations of others has me hitting a pipe as much as today's weather.

So while bullshit has become a form of recreation of sorts, when I start buying into it things usually go wrong.

Very wrong.

3 comments:

  1. You are in charge of your own experience. Bullshit makes for interesting conversation. So what if it's not true? Nothing we do anyway matters, really. So have some fuckinggg fun with your life while you can. You never know if a stroke is just around the corner. And don't ruin my fantasy of Erie cracker, beotch. Your brain is a huge turn on.

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  2. Erie - I have never done you wrong.
    Ain't in my character.
    You better keep in touch.
    ZIG

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  3. Anonymous #1
    #1 I am, and sometimes ya' just gotta slow things down a bit.
    #2 The best bullshit is wrapped around a kernel of truth.
    #3 Somethings do matter.
    #4 In a very real sense, I am having a ball. #5 When it does come time to check out, I hope it's with a big grin of my face and not as a drooling idiot in the county home.
    #6 Oh! And so is yours.

    Not quite so Anonymous #2

    Chill, ZIG! I'm just taken a break from the food fight. I don't run away from nothing no more.

    Grammar Nazis be damned!

    EC

    ReplyDelete

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