Friday, February 11, 2011

Yep, that works.

The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a hypocrite as follows:

Definition of HYPOCRITE

1: a person who puts on a false appearance of virtue or religion
2: a person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs or feelings


Definition #2 will work just dandy for my purposes, as those who know me are also aware of a dynamic lack of virtue or religiosity on my part. But, boy am I a big time advocate for everyone in this world to not hit a rock.

For you, not me of course.

That's where the hypocrisy is for me. I'm big on that "Do as I say and not as I do" philosophy. For the life of me though, I can't understand why anyone would want to follow the same path as I have. Where I started in this and the people I knew from the past would rightfully want to avoid me at all costs.

Well, most people, as there are a few who are OK in accepting me for what I am.

I live in fairly Spartan conditions. No luxury suite by any stretch of the imagination. A few missteps from being on the streets without a home. Some safety nets have been installed, but those are my design. A mousetrap designed by a mouse is certainly going to have an escape hatch.

Witnessing my meltdowns, blow ups and freak outs online and in real life should also be enough to make someone say, that's fucked up. And it is largely from twenty years of screwing with my mental wiring that has caused me to certainly be irrational at times.

I read an article somewhere that ones inhibitions and morality could be altered by application of magnets to certain areas of the brain. I've been ingesting a chemical that has indeed placed magnets around my moral compass. In that regard, I go with what feels good and not necessarily what is the right thing to do in some situations.

While there are those who say, "What the hell, life is short and have fun," the thing is some of that fun sucks others in and may hurt innocents.

For the life of me, I can't understand why anyone who has read this blog, knows me personally and the conditions that I live or know what has been lost on every level would want to say, "I want to be just like Erie Crackhead when I grow up."

I do my damnedest to have a safe place for a few people. No one has been shot, stabbed, beaten or raped while in my company. Well, not beaten from a drug deal gone bad in a long time anyway. I also don't want any of the above to happen to myself as well.

I say that I'm "Mostly Harmless" and have been refereed to as a "Minor Threat." We all know that is bullshit now, as the harm is certainly not physical, but there are other risks that leave huge scars that don't show up for perhaps for years. Some of those scars may someday show up on those who have never set foot in my place.

So for now I'm a hypocrite, but I'll live with that for the moment.

8 comments:

  1. First of all, a minor point: I believe a lack cannot be dynamic, by definition.

    Secondly, have you considered that you might be wr...; you might be wrr...; you know, mistaken?
    Of course, there is another possibility, namely that you have surrounded yourself with morons!
    Live long and prosper!

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  2. Think in terms of a black hole, which has many dynamics.

    Me consider that I might be wr..mistaken?
    On a daily basis.

    Morons?
    Hardly. Some of the people that walk through my door amaze me with their intelligence. But in some cases they're just like me and suffer from spats of poor judgment. Hell, if it wasn't for poor judgment I'd have...Yep.

    Even my neighbor Don astounds me at times with what comes from him when he's sober. I also try hard to not underestimate anyone, because you never know.
    There are some smart bastards that run great game playing dumb.

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  3. Sorry, EC, I never think of you as a collapsed star!
    BTW, would you like a copy od the BBC Radiophonic Workshop's half-hour series of broadcast of the HHGTTG? It is the bomb! Laughing out loud funny. If it copies, I can ship it.

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  4. Sure, you have the address. My eyes are starting to go to hell and I might as well adjust to the transition to listening to books...
    Besides, radio programs, etc. allow you to paint your own picture, to a point as well..
    Sheesh, this could have been done via private email.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No, I don't. When I delete, I really delete. Are you implying that audio books are for the old and decrepit? They are for the people who have a great imagination,! Count yourself lucky if you can listen and enjoy.Well, send me the infor to meenseutedern at geemail dot you know what. The name is Friesish language. Just copy and paste You know the rest. Still paranoid after all these years!

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  6. I smoke crack, of course I'm paranoid...

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  7. I am talking about moi, EC

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  8. Where the hell is this old conversation coming from? Greeting from the black hole where the space and time continuum are happily throbbing in and out of today time?

    ReplyDelete

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