The object that I am finding to be out of focus and that I am out of touch with is reality.
It could well be the stuff I've been ingesting. But some of it has to to with other
"bad habits" that have been acquired. One of which, as mentioned before, is spending way too much time in front of this computer. Along with limiting my access to real people in a face to face sort of way.
I have just made myself too comfortable in here lately. I can't blame the weather, but for a bit of rain, and I have been out in knee deep snow for many reasons. Running for drugs was just one, but there were healthy reasons for getting out as well.
I used to go to the mission every day for lunch. It's probably been close to 6 months or more since I've eaten there. Not that it's a must for me for nourishment, as food hasn't been a problem around here for some time. Not for the three donuts a day I would grab from there either.
But it's to get out and around people.
To say Hi! to some folks who I haven't seen in a bit. To hear Babuska Lady holler at me that I'm a Prince! To talk about what's happening with people who cared about what was happening with me and I about their situation. To hear about who got picked up by the cops last night or to see folks who just got out of the slammer or ankle bracelets just removed.
Trips to the park have been fewer and I really like being there.
I did go to the library yesterday. A book taken out was pass due. That cost me $.90 in fines. That's not a good thing, and what is worse, the book wasn't finished. That was after renewing the book for a total of 6 weeks.
Yep, the renewal was done online.
There was my monthly trip to WallyWorld. The usual cruise around the store provides a bit of comic relief. Those pictures posted about the place could come from the one I go to regularly. I also excused myself to a couple of women who had their fat asses parked right in front of the tomatoes.
Something along the lines of, "I know whatever it is your talking about is very important, but could you do it over there?" Clearing my throat and coughing didn't seem to do the trick. I thought the minute I patiently waited until actually offering up that smartass remark was sufficient enough time.
On another note it also should be noted that, much to my relief, everyone who was owed was paid off. My checking account isn't in the negative range yet either. I was retaught a lesson a month ago, so that is a problem that hopefully won't take place for awhile.
Visits to Don's have been fewer as well. I did stop by yesterday and paid the price. Essentially another day semi-comatose was the result. Not a great way to spend a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Added to that was my usual dance with the rock and a need to knock myself out further. If anything to keep from posting or texting while too fucked up.
But I know I'm not alone in this internetz bullshit either. High, straight, sober or not it's always starting to look the same. Yeah, I see some of you every time I go online. We really gotta' get outside and smell the petunias a bit more often because the pretty pictures of flowers and other things posted on Facebook just aren't real.
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5 weeks ago