As in the plain fact that my mind and my thoughts have been scattered all over the place.
The reason for that of course is that I have allowed that to happen. It's part of my self defense mechanism that permit me to avoid things that require some attention. Like posting to this blog. To set things down in relatively correct and plain English so I can see, well me.
There are those days when even looking in a mirror is a frightening event.
As mentioned before, there are those I "talk" to on a continuing basis. At times things get confused or distorted. Part of the reason, and it's really just a product of our modern times, are conversations that are fragmented into bites of 160 characters or less. Get something out of sequence, forget that there was another part of that message you may have missed and the entire meaning is skewed.
Part of the problem is my need to respond in some half ass witty fashion before the whole message is really assembled in proper order. My need to look smart and clever in a rush has indeed bitten me in the ass. Truth be known, I am not that witty or clever. Smartass, not wiseass is closer to the mark.
I'm grateful for those who are patient enough to work with me on that short coming. God knows why, but they do. And whether smartass or wiseass, neither projects inteeligence or wisdom.
Intelligence is not a guarantee of wisdom either, but it must be noted that wisdom has been gained from those who, at the surface anyway, have appeared not to be too intelligent.
But that is what those 10 second character assessments will get you.
One other thing that has been distracting me from posting is my pursuit of silly, foolish fun. As mentioned before, I am "Mostly Harmless."Despite being the shameless attention whore and internet slut that I am, I am amazed what effect a few well placed words have on the clueless. Clueless as my farcebook profile, beyond the link to this blog is poor representation of who I really am.
This fact was pointed out by a friend on their own status update.
So I play with the ladies, or at least those who present themselves as such. I play with the politicians whose views don't align with mine. Conspiring with like minded people on promoting our "medicine" or giving someone a hard time is part of the sport. I also play with those who are all a whole lot like me. As one new friend mentioned, "A white crackhead on Facebook, what a surprise!"
There are who know the real Erie Cracker. They have taken the time to read the blog and have not run screaming. Private messages have led me to believe that some good has come from those associations for them as well as myself, regardless of how they have started. Some of those have become in a very real sense, friends.
There are others who shy away. I can't blame them, but we both may have lost.
Two other things have been distracting me as well.
Fathers Day was yesterday. Not a card, not a text, not even a peep from my children. No, this isn't about poor me. The fact they don't know me is my fault, not theirs. But I am making some efforts to at least repair those relationships. Some things like that take time. I am the one who needs to be patient though. Irony or Karma has a play in this as well.
Ironically, Karma is a motherfucker.
The other thing is that money is coming soon. I haven't been as diligent as in the past in preparation. Things need to be planned. Yeah, the lists need to be made. I am not that far from the street again that I can afford to get cocky about that fact. Nope, can't let that happen.
I, again haven't had a hit in almost a week. I did a bit drunk and high last weekend through the kindness of friends and friends of friends My funds were squirreled away out of reach. I don't really call for cash unless there is a real need. I know I'll ask for enough for that buzz and do what can be done to forestall that as much as possible.
One of the people who showed up at our little impromptu Friday night parties was wearing yellow tinted safety glasses. I had to mention that many people looked at life through rose colored glasses, but it appeared he was looking at life through piss colored glasses. Fact is I may well be the one who has been looking at life that way.
And so it goes...
For those reading this for the first time, the question begs to be asked:
How do you like me now?
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