Monday, August 29, 2011

I really do hate...

Reformed smokers and reformed drinkers.

The thing is that they tend to think everyone else should be just like them. Their bright smiles as they spout their new found religion does get maddening at times. In a way, it all reminds me of someone trying sell Amway.

It really isn't soap they are trying to sell you.

With mixed feeling I am confronted with a sober Don. He hasn't had a drink in about 10 days. He tried to say almost a month, but I pulled the calendar out on him. I'll give him two weeks, based on when I was last aware that a bottle was bought.

I am happy in one sense. He is healthier looking and is getting out of his apartment on a daily basis. The down side sort of, is his dragging me out with him on the excursions. Yes, I know getting out is good for me, but I like to do shit on my terms.

The up side, and there are many, but in particular is Don has bought lunch for me on a couple of these trips. One place was a rather nice restaurant downtown in the old Boston Store. 'Under the Clock" is the kind of place I used to frequent in my old life. The other day going in there made me as nervous as a whore in church.

Perhaps I should say as nervous as me in church.

Sitting in there put an old perspective on my view of the world. It made me sad, mad and scared me as well. I got a bit of a taste of how some people view those on the street. A little bitter to say the least. It also brought back to mind some things lost. Not things so much, but...

There is an ulterior motive to Don's inviting along at times. He has money so he has been buying common sense things for his apartment. Because of his disabilities he has a hard time carrying these purchases. So I make myself useful and bite my tongue when I am tempted to say "Yes, Boss. No, Boss!"

I did make one mistake in this effort to cheer lead Don though... "If you ain't drinkin', I ain't crackin'!"

There is a benefit to me in that I can't borrow money from him for a few hits. Lack of a ready source of back up cash will make calling the Dude a little more less frequent. Calls offering fronts will also be easier to decline as well. Other resources are running low so....I have been hitting a bit more conservatively.

What Don doesn't know won't hurt him and I'm not going to clue him into what I'm doing.

Because we all know crackheads lie.

Mostly to ourselves.


  1. "It really isn't soap they are trying to sell you. " why have to be sold at all? why is there always seemingly a price for everything? an ulterior motive? why can't people just take a day for a day and for the record, everyone lies: especially to ourselves.

  2. Well, being one of the reformed smokers (quit cold turkey, like all of my destructive habits) I never cared enough about other people's addictions to want to convert them. But I did have that self righteous glow for a few weeks.
    Glad to hear that Don's liver is getting a break.
    Take care!

  3. I hate reformed anything! Fuck REFORMING! I will die a happy, smoking, laughing my ass off bitch! So what if it's early? I care not about how long I live, just as long as I'm enjoying myself. That's all that really matters. Why lie? It's the ultimate form of theft from yourself and others who are entitled to make decisions, based on FACTS and REALITY.

    Just saying.

    LOVE YA! xoxo


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