AS OF LATE

Life really sucks...

Things have really gone downhill in many respects. Using is on the increase for me. The type of drugs I've been tinkering with have seriously gotten stronger as well.

Finances are sketchy and additional credit has not been helpful in any respect. Well it has allowed me to use more drugs.


Overdoses have been way too frequent. Friends have been avoiding me and I really can't blame them.
Who wants to get too close to someone who may be gone tomorrow.

Psychotic episodes have been increasing. Bizzare behavior has become a constant. Depression is on the upswing and isolating, while aided by my behavior, has been a practice of choice.

Winter is a season I dread and this one has been one of the worst. A fire only adds to the PTSD that is part and parcel of my life. I've been told that choices must be made.

The thing is though, I'm not sure I have that ability any longer. Asking for help is admitting defeat.

Besides, I'm not sure I really know how to ask for help.