Yes, there are people who do get it, and get what I am trying to do with this blog.
When you click on the title, you'll see why in many respects I am surprised at some comments and reactions I have gotten because of this blog. It's that stigma thing that junkies, crack heads and your down and dirty drunks have to carry around with themselves. It's theirs as well as my cross to bear.
Let me start out by saying that whatever it is that I may be or have or whatever the correct or fashionable thing to say is, I am not contagious. You will not be doomed to a life of hustling, conniving, deceiving or stealing to keep the flow of crack coming your way. Exchanging emails, IMs, phone calls or even hanging out with me will not put you in any sort of jeopardy to smoke crack or do anything that one really wouldn't want to do.
It is also understood that I won't even consider turning someone onto that poison. It wouldn't matter how much money you brought with you or how much you insist that it would not effect you negatively. It would in some measure fuck up your life, trust me on that one.
Most crack smokers look at that the same as I.
This blog though has helped to some degree in weakening that stigma associated with crackheads. At least it seems that way to this crackhead. This is not a one man crusade to redeem all crackheads everywhere. This is not even a crusade for redemption of this crackhead.
It is though a means of letting people know what life is like for someone with apparently deep seeded dependency issues when it comes to this drug. Erie Crackhead is also trying to do this as honestly as he knows. No glamorization, no details on how to score, no war stories that at times make me want to go out and get a rock. Actually, war stories are one of the reasons I no longer attend 12 step meetings.
If there has been any dishonesty in this blog, it's been more of the lies through omission sort of thing. Part of that is for the readers protection and to be perfectly honest, part is for my protection. Also putting too much out there may be harmful to some who have never, and may never read this blog.
But the nicest things experienced from this undertaking and the modest way that this blog has been "promoted" has been from the people who have taken the time to see who it is that is really peeking out from behind the curtain. The kindness, the caring, the encouragement and the humor folks have brought to me have been more helpful than many of the hours spent with most therapists.
I am grateful for those who have been able to look beyond the label and to see the person.
Now about this honesty stuff. I haven't taken a hit since last Thursday. Before you start patting me on the back, it should also be mentioned that I did get ripped off yesterday trying to get a small package. So, it is more by accident than by design that I did not get high yesterday.
That's sometimes how it goes when you're a crackhead.