Well, Moo is starting to be people to me.
With that said, she is obviously in heat. The constant meowing and yowling is some sort of way to communicate her need. A need that she isn't even fully aware of I suspect. But constant attention, weird posturing and strange looks are the order of the day. Along with that is her talking in tones varying from pleading to demanding to questioning to just plain " Hi!"have been part of the scenery around here for the past few days.
A comment in a previous post suggested that having her fixed would make both of us happy. I cannot disagree with that fact at all.
Other things have been happening though that have given me reason to pause and think, "What the hell are you thinking?" One biggie, after breaking Rule #1 a couple of weeks ago, is accepting fronts from the Dude. In other words I have now broken Rule #1 and Rule #2 with little regard for the consequences.
That is not a good place to be. It will indeed put me and my comfort and the roof over my head in peril quicker than any other mistake or mishap I can invent or stumble into. This all is part and parcel of trying to exist in this crackhead life. And at times, it's a motherfucker.
So while I have been given a promise of sorts from the person who helped me break Rule #1, that isn't going to go far in keeping me afloat if push comes to shove. Added to that my safety net person has their own life issues they are trying to deal with. My dependence on their aid to keep funds at arms length is being sorely tested. Too many calls for cash and other forms of help have made this relationship strained.
Not that I'm borrowing cash from them. Not them anyways, but between the money lost, money borrowed and fronts from the Dude, this and next month are going to be interesting to say the least. Interesting in that Chinese curse sort of interesting.
Added to that is the fact that my available cash for the month is now gone, gone, gone. The plus side is that I have enough food and other necessities for Moo and myself, along with having enough smokes, or supplies to make smokes to carry me through.
Because, a crackhead without crack and cigarettes is not a pretty picture.
One other thing. The comments received here are much appreciated. I have made a decision though to avoid replying or indeed commenting myself. Part of the reason is I don't want to debate or indeed detract from those comments offered. I can babble on all I want to in the space up above, but need to let the words of others soak in a bit.
Who knows, maybe something will stick.
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