I don't do that drug, but...

I should qualify that by saying I don't actively pursue or consume heroin.

Not not to say that I have never done it. I have by snorting it and yes, have injected that stuff as well. I know the risks and certainly knew what the risks were at the times I was experimenting. It isn't a high I dislike. One might say it is a buzz I really enjoyed way too much.

That was the thing though, as I had enough going on with the pipe as my best friend. My life and outlooks were screwed up enough without adding heroin to my plate. I also had an aversion to poking holes in my body. Not the same needle phobia I had fostered as a child, but that fear has served me well in many respects.

Added to that is all the hassle of finding a good vein. That's too much work for me and I now consider that part of my preservation plan. Survival through sheer laziness.

But I recently heard that a child of an old acquaintance died from using herion. I have no idea how it was ingested, although most times this sort of thing happens if from IV use. Appararently the dope was tainted with some sort of poison. I also don't really know many details beyond that or how involved this kid was in their habit.

There is a lot of crap in the crack that comes into this area. I do recook a great deal of the product that I smoke. It's too soft, or the color is off or the taste is off. You can sort of tell when the shit isn't quite right.

So, like junkies, at times it is a crap shoot when I inhale that crap.

Heroin is a whole different game though. I really don't know of anyway to check the quality of that kind of drug. In the old days, if someone died of an overdose, everyone wanted to know who sas the seller. That was so the other junkies could buy some of it for themselves.

A bit of marketing wrapped in black humor.

My experiences first hand with what can go wrong when, in particular shooting heroin is certainly limited. Junkies for some strange reason are a bit more vengeful. My stints in rehabs had increased my curiosity about using it, Often though, listening to those war stories many were often accompanied by tragedy as well.

Hot shots, as in cooking the dope in acid or loading up a ten bags in a fix were part and parcel of some of these tales. Some of the reasons given were from how snitches and narcs were dealt with to people whose tollerence had gotten to the point that they needed to load a shot that way.

Anyways, someone mentioned the passing of an old acquaintance's child from having used some tainted heroin. While all the details were not available enough was known to lead to me think about what they are putting in that shit for cut or who did this kid piss off.

The games people engage in around illegal drugs are often not fun.

So, while I don't owe any slingers money at the moment, it did get close. Don has been on his own little run to destruction and not really on top of things. Generally that means he'll slide a few bucks my way. He hates the thought of being the only one he knows who is it ripped in some fashion. He also uses the fact that he is willing to lend me money to entice me do some things he no longer is really capable of doing. Like walking to the store for a pack of smokes.

I'll be damned if I'll go to the liquor store for him. Besides he already has his man servant for that chore.

As I reread through this my mind is just shutting down from the stupidity and pain that comes from that buzz and what we go through. Our pain and their pain. And the pain it seems we all are trying to run away from.