I had to get outside.

And so I am sorta'.


I was tired of just sitting around in that apartment doing not a damned thing other than pound on the computer, listen to NPR or watch TV. So I got myself together and cruised on down to the bus stop to catch the trolley. It was a little too late to go to the Mission for lunch.

So what do I do?

Well, here I am at the library pounding on the computer.

But, besides the fact that I'm doing what I would probably be doing if sitting at home, is the fact that I am not at home. Big difference in little ways. The ride down here had it's little adventures. Watching a disabled old lady and her blind husband negotiate their way around the bus and then getting off at their destination was amazing. I never would have experienced that sitting inside my apartment.

I also ran into an old acquaintance and shot the breeze for a few minutes. He knew my father and we talked about him for a bit. I also brightened up the day for the clerk at the convenience store for a few minutes. Well, it brightened my day for a little bit and it's good to talk with people other than myself. Yeah, I talk to myself at times. And you're gonna' tell me you don't.

Bullshit!

The MM experiment is continuing, but I only smoke the stuff at the end of the day. When I have no emails left to reply to. No threads in discussion groups to add my wit and wisdom to as well. When it is no longer necessary for me to communicate with the rest of the world. It's just that I don't think the responses that I come up with when I'm stoned on pot are as edgy and, well as coherent as when I'm straight.

Also, when I'm smoking crack the computer doesn't even get turned on.

One other thing.

I know there are people that for various reasons smoke pot from the moment they wake up in the morning to the time they go to sleep again in the evening. I don't know how they can do that and function. I have been told that some people don't even get high at all from smoking their medicine. Maybe my tolerance is way low, and from what I have read anyway, one does not build up a tolerance to cannabis. After a couple of tokes I'm happy to sit in my chair and listen to the radio and watch the TV with the sound off.

But it helps, even if I am not stoned it helps to ease some physical discomfort and take my mind off of crack.

You know, better is better.