If I'm here, then I not there.

There of course being that little freak show in my mind induced by a few hits on a glass pipe.

While some of my thoughts here are dark, that may well be attributed to withdrawals or at times just plain being depressed. My depression, bipolar disorder, or whatever the diagnosis of the day is may be more the circumstantial, environmental, what's happening at the moment type of mood. You know, like crappy weather , the dishwasher broke, the dog shit on the rug or not enough sunlight type of thing.

Besides, I've always been a moody, brooding, introspective sort. It definitely shows in this blog at times. That's one reason I read over older entries on occasion, to gauge where I may have been mentally.

I'm not making little of the clinical type of depression that many suffer. The thing is many of the medications I've been prescribed pose more of a danger to my overall health than taking nothing at all. For all intent and purpose, those prescribed medications have been avoided now for over 3 years and I'm still here.

And posting here or playing there is not done while I am geeking my ass off. Hell, I can't even stand the sound of the fan on this thing when I am ripped. I don't post here drinking or high from cannabis either, but will raise hell on the social sites. I don't think I'm alone in that regard.

Now, one other thing before I go on another rant. I made it 3 days into 2011 without a hit.

Now to rant. While some of this is a rehash, all of it needs to be talked about.

I read a Harm Reduction site that thought it would be a good idea for some sort of consumer advocacy with crack dealers. When I first read that, I did nearly piss myself laughing. There is a part of me though that thinks something along these lines is way overdue. A consumer union for crack smokers. A Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval is a bit of a stretch, but many of us are tired of the game played by those peddlers.

But lately there have been situations that is not all that unusual for these parts anymore.

First let's start with the concept of time. 5 minutes generally means anywhere from 10 minutes to a half hour. 10 minutes could be anything from 15 minutes to an hour. To be told twenty minutes is the kiss of death. That generally means a couple of hours to next week sometime.

You can call a dealer up and not get an answer. Most often messages are frowned upon, but there are occasions when you know they are still sleeping at 2 in the afternoon, so you just leave a "give me holler when you wake up" type of message on the voicemail. Even that is sometimes frowned upon.

But sometimes they will call back, regardless if a message is left or not in a few minutes. Then the process of waiting as described above begins. I have also called dealers and was told it would be quite a while before they could get to me. I did have to laugh though when they would call back, sometimes the next day, asking if I was still looking for that package.

A day later, shit. I started dailing more numbers immediately after getting that kind of news.

Quality of product is always an issue. Straight drop, as some term it is nonexistent around here. Cut and soda may make up the greatest percentage of what you're buying. When there is just too much soda and cut in the rock it does need to be recooked. It's a simple process, but many smokers are way too inpatient to take the time. Most anyway. There are a few crack heads who, as part of their particular ritual, will recook the crack.

Recooking may well be the best thing to do, considering some of the stuff used to cut the stuff. The hit is cleaner and usually smaller amounts are required on the pipe for satisfactory results. It also cuts down on the amount of burnt soda that remains on the screen and usually gets inhaled along with the smoke.

I've hacked up black crap from my lungs days after my last hit. Actually, weeks afterward there have been fits of coughing up black mucous while in rehab. Some call it Crack Hack. Since I smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, that is somewhat enhanced.

There are those rare occasions that your regular "trusted" dealer may even sell you something that is not crack at all. Buying off the street from an unknown will more often than not get you gank dope. Getting that from a regular slinger is unusual, but it happens. One occasion had a regular source try to sell me a piece of street salt.

Another friend recently told me of getting drywall from a source usually considered straight up in regards to what they sold. Sometimes accidents happen, as in this case where the dealer did make things right. He was out of his usual product and bought from someone else to make a sale. Then again there are those occasions of it being just a case of being ripped off. The risk of that is substantially increased if the seller has a habit themselves.

It's rare, but it happens.

Most of the sellers know first hand the depths that some crack heads will go to keep the run going. These kids aren't dumb, and they know that if they taste it, they may well find themselves in a similar situation. The consequences for some to use is also life and death.

I heard a story about a dealer in Florida, who when it was discovered that they were shaving their product for their own use came to an unhappy ending. A pipe was filled with an extraordinary amount of crack at a meeting held on the roof of a high building in West Palm Beach. After ingesting that hit, the poor fool was tossed off of that roof. Know what a really big blast can do to one, my hope is they had a heart attack and died before hitting the pavement.

I can't prove the authenticity of this tale, but it came with slight variations from two different people.

The simple fact is for the real peddlers it's Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Mutha' Fuckin' Money!

So while I expect no help from Consumer Reports or the State Attorney Generals Office on Consumer protection on these matters, it is in it's purest sense a case of caveat emptor.

Buyer beware.