Maybe I'm Depressed

The past few posts to this blog were certainly cynical and not at all upbeat. I'm thinking that has to be attributed to being depressed. it seems when that happens, whether it's a product of recently using or just the plain old garden variety, chemically unbalanced type I get crotchety.

Well, it comes with the territory.

There are more than a fair share of crack smokers who, unconsciously or not, use crack to kind of self medicate themselves. The stuff certainly does give you a lift after the first hit. It doesn't matter if it's the first of the day or the first one after a certain amount of abstinence.

The problem of course is when you run out. Run out of crack, run out of money or just run out of the energy to keep that binge going.

So the blues set in. The first part is the knowing that the party is over before you're ready to say the party's over. This can lead to trouble in some circumstances. You know, the clown who thinks they need a hit so bad that they try some stupid crack trick.

You know, the try to stick up the local convenience store. The grab the guy walking down the street and try to get his money trick. The go to the stroll and do the trick trick. Things that come back to haunt some crackheads for a very long time. Especially if they get caught, which happens a very high percentage of the time.

Anyway, I've gone off on a tangent. All I really wanted to do was tie in my apparent bad mood for the past several days to possible depression.

Am I going to stick up a store or roll a drunk to get more crack to put me into a better mood?

Nope.

Thank God it hasn't gotten that bad.

Yet...

Sheesh! Talk about cynical!