It's been awhile

I would like to be able to say all has been well and uneventful.

Unfortunately, that would be far from the truth. There was more than enough money wasted on that poison and promises made and broken to last for more than a bit.

What is it with the likes of us who hit that damned pipe?

It not like we don't see the train heading down the tracks. You see the light from the engine, the smoke pouting out of the stack. You see the cow catcher as it barrels toward you and still you don't do a thing about it.

How many more times are you going to screw up and how many more people are you going to disappoint?

Always, yes always it's after the fact that you then stop to look at the mess you have made of your life. You look at the fact that no one wants anything to do with you. You can't understand why yet another holiday has passed without so much as a phone call from a family member or friend.

What friend or friends?

What family?

Family members have long ago given up. They themselves not wanting to get caught up in the maelstrom that develops around you have taken to avoiding all but the most necessary of contact. When that contact does comes, it appears to be more out of pity. They don't want to see that loved one end up dead from exposure or starvation but at the same time keep an arms length away.

What we have really isn't contagious.

Why are we treated as though we were carriers of Ebola virus or some other terrible condition that could be spread through a hug or a handshake.

It is said that the holiday season is tough on people who are apparently normal. Do they understand what is is like for the likes of us who have so much self control in other ares of our lives with exception of that one small thing.

Yeah, just that one small thing.

The problem is that it is not such a small thing.