A Crackhead in Erie

This is the last post I'll be making in this blog.

As mentioned before, there are a lot of reasons for that, but primarily it has gotten out of hand. Firstly because my anonymity has been shot in the ass. I have no one to fault for that beyond myself.

Betraying my own anonymity has had some negative effects on me and on the people who are close to me. Well, maybe not close to me, but people who have known me in the past and those who may have wandered through my door recently. Some people have used that association, either in real life or in online situations as a freak flag of sorts. That has created some tension and bad blood.

My fault for allowing that, not theirs.

The other thing was that this blog was supposed to be a place to write about what was happening in my life and to be used as a tool for making improvements in my life. In some regards that has happened but some things changed in a negative fashion. While I started this essentially as a guide post for me, I started writing to an audience. Not good. I also started writing at people.

That is even worse.

As mentioned in an earlier post, I felt hypocritical. Who the hell am I to tell people what is right or wrong. I became someone who I would avoid at all costs when someone started in on me in any fashion. Jimi Hendrix said, "I'm the one that has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to."

So that philosophy will be applied to myself and those who I may meet down the road.

A new private blog has been started. No one has been invited to see what's contained within it at this time. I'm not sure anyone will be able to view it at all. It's a matter of trust and I have little trust in many people and even less for myself.

The other part of this is that I have discovered something that frightens me to no end. I am really good at playing people. Manipulative to no end with an eye towards getting what I want and to hell with anyone else. The most terrifying part is that I am an expert at getting over on myself. That might well have little to do with hitting a crack pipe and more to do with just being selfish.

So I leave those of you who for whatever reason have read this blog with this: