I'm not sure what to say.

That hasn't stopped me in the past though.

Despite my reservations about calling the "Other Dude", I did. As suspected his shit was shit. Garbage. Crap. Almost no buzz and mostly soda and cut. Soft, like silly putty. A waste of time and money.

To say I won't call him again is a lie of course, but the incentive to do so is dramatically lessened by the quality of my last buy. My regular guy, I am now really convinced, is gone, gone, gone. now I am sitting here wondering what will happen. To him and me.

As mentioned in an earlier post, this may not be a bad thing. But until the twists in my gut gets to the point where I don't give a shit, I guess I'm Erie Crackless. As a friend mentioned when I restarted writing blog, I might want to consider reinventing myself.

It may be happening by default.

Not to say that I have had a sober existence, but I did use money for things other than crack. Like for some cheap ass wine. MD 20/20 Orange Jubilee goes with Cheetos, Fritos and Doritos and not much else. I have also eaten a few of my vicodin in a recreational manner. Add to that eating a couple Ambein for a night time snack made for at least one interesting night. A couple of bowls of Mother Nature just for balance.

I only wish I remembered it all.

I went to bed at about midnight. I do know that I sent out some texts that might have, in a different day and age, gotten me arrested. Well, maybe not arrested, but certainly might have been cause for someone to send a friend over to beat the living shit out of me. But those texts went out a long time after I thought I had actually gone to sleep.

Well, it's a good thing I have friends with a sense of humor.

I let this rest for a few days to wait for the fallout and to kind of get my mind right. The funny thing is most of what came back was positive. Certainly not glowing recommendations that I do that every night, or ever again for that matter, but a sense of people knowing me for what or who I am.

One conversation shined a bit of light on that for me and for that I am grateful.

Oh!
I also bought ice cream, which is not a go together with MD 20/20 Orange Jubilee.