This freaked me out.

I was standing in line waiting to get lunch at the Mission when I overheard snippets of a conversation.

"Man, I knew something was wrong. I haven't seen him since before Christmas." His friend followed up with, "Well they think he's been dead since December 4Th."

Many of our kind don't have real regular contact with people. It's not really about being antisocial, at least I don't think that's the case. Sometimes we have no funds available and getting around is a chore. We show up for a few days and disappear for a few weeks.

No one really keeps track.

It's not that we don't care if So and So hasn't been around in awhile. Everyone has their own routine, troubles and needs to take care of that someone missing is not a major thing.

Every once in awhile though the missing person shows up dead. That's to say that they have died in their apartment when few people think about checking up on them. The rent just was paid and the landlord doesn't come around until the following month's rent is a few days to a week late.

Nobody makes a big deal about someone missing who's just gotten their check. They've probably paid enough bills to keep out of the radar. Maybe even copped enough drugs to allow them to burrow away for a few days. Maybe the heat isn't working, but at least they are out of the snow or rain.

So no one is too concerned if there is any concern at all.

Somebody might be pissed because they didn't get a promised bump. So they knock on the door and get no answer. "Oh well, Dude is out partying someplace else. MFer still owes me a hit!"

How many in the "real world" would become suspicious when a friend disappears for a week or more? Quite a few, I'm certain.

Too bad it can't be that way for everyone.

Dead is dead. Would it be nice to know that at least when they found you they could have an open casket. Then your friends could tell everyone how peaceful you looked.

Peaceful looking, but still dead.

Missing in Action

Sometimes you get to know someone, their habits to some extent and their schedules. All of a sudden they become Missing in Action. They don't show when you have expected them to show, they haven't called and they haven't been seen in any of the usual haunts they frequent.

Most "normal" people get really concerned and think the worst. Most crackheads wonder why the missing individual hasn't stopped by to share their good fortune. If the disappearance is lengthy, most crackheads wonder which jail, hospital or rehab their using friend has fallen into.

Yes, there are those occasions when some serious misfortune has beset us. We've rented our car to somebody to keep the run going. We have found ourselves in a very strange neighborhood with no transportation back home. We are too ashamed, usually, to call someone for some help, so after we manage to get back home, we hide away for awhile and try to resolve some nasty issues on our own. That usually doesn't bring us to a successful conclusion to our dilemma.

Our family and friends fret that we have been shot or some other similar misfortune has befallen us. They may, if they haven't reached the point of stopping to care anymore , call the area police and hospitals trying to locate us. They may even drive around those strange and sometimes dangerous neighborhoods trying to locate us, or at the very least our vehicles.

Worrying about a loved one who hits a pipe is very tiresome to those who care. It becomes so stressful and tiring that those people have reached the end of their ropes and can no longer cope. They have come to the end of their rope. This is often their emotional as well as financial ropes. They no longer want the crackhead around. Not having them around frees them from the burden of worrying about the poor fool.

What the crackhead realizes all too late is that they are burning bridges. They don't see it that way, as they have more often than not lost sight of what is a normal lifestyle. They often are not thinking about anything during the course of a 4 or 5 day run beyond where the next hit is coming from. crack smoker doesn't think about the consequences of those things until the money or the drugs have run out.

This is one of the reasons why crack addicts live a lonely existence. The only ones that come around them anymore are other crack addicts who, as often as not, are looking to gain something from each other. Addicts tend not to trust each other for a lot of obvious reasons. Soon they start to trust no one.

But, no one likes to get high by themselves.