Despite my whining, and doubts and a lot of negative thinking I am making progress.
Money, not a great deal but nonetheless a positive balance is in the bank. My checking account has usually been in the range of $200 to $300 in the hole at this time of the month. Debts for loans from my neighbor are only $30. I owe no one else a nickel. In past months I would have owed, at a minimum, $250 to others. I have money put aside, out of my reach. It'll work out to about $100 by my next check. Right now it's $150, but I know that at least $40 will get smoked up.
But looking at the numbers, I've smoked about $400 less than in previous months.
Yeah, there was still about or will be about $500.00 puffed away, but consumption has been cut almost in half.
Better is better.
Doing things, not to get through cravings, but to stave them off in the first place have helped. This silly blog has refocused me, even with the negative shit in it at times. Not dwelling on getting high, but talking about what's been happening. Also exposing myself to the thoughts of people way smarter than me. And to thoughts of people who are walking in the same shoes as me.
Yeah, better is better.
AWESOME!!!! FN AWESOME!!! DUDE! You've been duded. LOL. I had a great visit iwth my GP today...i hadn't spoken with him awhile. I told him truthfully what i had been doing and was basically starting over again without the cult...and how the meds the pysch gave me where a bit over the top...topamax...but they were kinda working. I showed him the article on baclofen and he's gonna HELP! I am so pumped!! He looked at me after i was talking with me like i was NOT FROM MARS! Every doc/counselor I've spoken with hadn't done that. Every one. I have sorta been glossing over that. Part of me was hoping he would too look at me and say just don't get high. He knows though he said he's precribed these bmeds before and that we'll do reperdone as a plan b! That is a two week shot! So I will write more gotta take my middle daughter rox to her softball game...and usually i'd jsut drop her off. will bring my Mac and stay tonight. we're doing this ERIE! we're doing this!
ReplyDeleteBeing an informed patient interested in their treatment is helpful. Docs listen if you present them with reasonable ideas for treatment. As long as it isn't drug seeking(for opiates) behavior, they'll go along with you if those ideas conform with their's.
ReplyDeleteBetter is better, to quote a friend. But better is not perfection. Not for me yet anyways, but thinking about reducing the harm has tamed the beast in me a bit. I hope it has for you as well.